you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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