what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize