And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm like, not good at living.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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