like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
