Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
