I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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