She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
