Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
