you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize