I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
