I seem to have left my pride at pride
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize