Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
