no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
