She is in my trunk
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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