Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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