i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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