How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
