I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
