shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
