You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
