I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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