Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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