Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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