And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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