It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
