So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
