Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
