you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
