I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
