That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
