Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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