I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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