I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
