im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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