this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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