Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
as a side note pls kill me
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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