i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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