yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
