Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
why is half of my head shaved?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
