ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
