did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
