The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
MIDGETS
????
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
