oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
