Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
My hand turned me down
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
