Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
