I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
