i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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