Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
i think we sleep fucked last night...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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