doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
