Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
is that a dick in a sweater?
Randomize
