I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
