soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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