I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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