Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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