haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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