its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
