Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
