In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
