I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
