I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
