turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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