Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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