There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
