3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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