You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize