Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize