Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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