What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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