I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize