4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
