Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
